Found this accidentally in my backups :) ... do not remember when i originally found this.
	Here is a list I compiled of UNIX commands that return witty error messages.
	Some of the commands don't return the same error messages, depending upon
	which OS you're running (ie SunOS, HP/UX, Ultrix, etc.). Have fun!

	%make fire
	Make:  Don't know how to make fire.  Stop.

	% why not?
	No match.

	% gotta light?
	No match.

	% !1984
	1984: Event not found.  # (on some systems)

	% How's my lovemaking?
	Unmatched '.

	% "How would you rate Bush's incompetence?
	Unmatched ".

	% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
	Missing ].

	% [Where is my brain?
	Missing ].

	% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
	Modifier failed.

	% ^How did the sex change operation go?
	Bad substitute.

	% If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have?
	Too many ('s.

	% man: why did you get a divorce?
	man:: Too many arguments.

	% %blow
	%blow: No such job.

	% \(-
	(-: Command not found.

	% sh
	$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
	no sense in pretending!

	$ mkdir matter; cat >matter
	matter: cannot create

	% cd /tmp
	% touch this; chmod 000 this
	% ln -s /usr/bin/touch U
	% U this
	U: cannot touch this: no write permission

	% rm meese-ethics
	rm: meese-ethics nonexistent

	% cd ~god
	Unknown user: god.

	% ar m God
	ar: God does not exist

	% make love
	Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.

	% sleep with me
	bad character

	% ^What is saccharine?
	Bad substitute.

	% drink  yellow_pages
	yellow_pages: Is a directory

	%touch me
	%chmod 000 me
	%touch me
	touch: cannot touch me: permission denied

	% ar x "my love life"
	ar: my love life does not exist

	% ar x "matey, the treasure"
	ar: matey, the tresure does not exist

	% talk Gorvachev@Kremlin
	talk: Kremlin: Can't figure out network address.

	% talk Comrade Khruchev
	[Your party is not logged on]

	make "bottle open"
	make "heads or tails of all this"
	make love
	make mistake
	make sense
	man woman
	man -kisses dog
	% echo

	% ping | awk '{print substr($1,1,5), $2, $3}'
	elvis is alive

	% finger body-of-christ@bread-jar.mass
	Unknown host

	% finger huge-keg-party@big-house
	Unknown host

	% make ' ' bang ' ' with gun
	make: Fatal error: Don't know how to make target ` '