11 ways to increase the traffic to your website
These are 11 ways you can increase the traffic to your website:
- Use obscene and insultive language whenever possible. (those that do this are real motherfuckers).
- Do something realy lame like type an entire book and have it on the webpage
- Share your wisdom and style with everyone giving him advice on how to hit on a woman and stuff
- Write about things that you (think that) you are an expert with, sharing your knowledge (or ignorance) with everyone
- Flood your webpage in graphics (animated gifs preferably) with the first one being: <IMG SRC="UnderConstruction.125frames.gif" ALT="Play with me while you wait for the page to load"> and the last: <IMG SRC="MadeWithMyFavoriteWebEditingToolWichILoveSoMuchAndWantEveryoneToUseOrDie.Fronpage.gif" ALT="Thank you for waiting for my page to load, discovering that I only have 3 moving mailboxes, 4 construction workers, 8 flashing java applets that you have no idea how to stop and 13 special tags that are only viewable with my absolutely favorite IE which is by the way the only browser that can translate the tag <MAKE_MY_WEBPAGE_INTERESTING>">
- <HTML> This TRULY REALY ABSOLUTELY is the VERY BEST SUPER COOL WEPAGE with the MOST FANTASTIC SPECIAL WONDERFULL stuff and I myself am the ULTIMATE GREATEST DUDE there is. Visit it <A href="www.my.website/webpage/with/big/3d/Applets/saying/Iam/theBest/Otherwise/emptypage.lame>HERE</A></HTML>
- Offer invaluable information on physical phenomena around the server (yes yes I'm talking about the weather) :-P
- <HTML> Find the HOTEST young BABES on the internet in <A href="www.my.website/which/has/nothing/todo/with/porn.fake"> HERE </A> </HTML>
- <TITLE> I AM GAY </TITLE>
- <HTML> Get the latest and most cool mp3s include BarbyGirld.mp3, OhBabyPlease.mp3 and MyBabyBaby.mp3 <A href="www.my.website/I/REALY/listen/to/those/things.ass">HERE</A> </HTML>
- Try to be funny, making fun of everyone else (I'm lost in the recursion)
Most (I just counted 5 on this server) of the above methods are already tested with astonishing results. Many are server-wide and others internet-wide. Just look around
As always you know that I love everybody (well not everybody) and that I didn't mean any of these as an insult to anyone (well maybe I did) :-)
